What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What happened to The Simpsons deleted onscreen footage?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why do people hate fat people so much, even people who aren't exactly supermodels themselves? It seems like such a deep, passionate hatred, like they're offended by fat people just existing. Fat people didn't do anything to them, so why hate them?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why is America so fucked up?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

How many wishes do people get on their birthday?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

TEXT:

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I have a black elbow sleeve leotard that I wear with sheer pantyhose. Should I keep my pants off and show my legs?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …